Parental Units

I have been avoiding this topic as I collect my thoughts and figure out what exactly I want to say. The future in-laws dun dun dun. My guy has been very very honest and straight forward since our beginning in regards to his parents. His world and relationship with his parents is completely different then a traditional American parental relationship. The same love is there, the same adoration of their children is there, but the expectation of culture and tradition is as highly present as those two things as well.

We have all heard the stories of arranged marriages and most of think, ' hell I cant even imagine'. It happens, everyday in other countries. Parents arrange a meeting of their children, if they get along well enough , hey they get hitched. Scary isn't it?makes me wonder if we take the choice of love for granted here in the states.

OK back to topic, his parents are traditional, his mother very religious, and his society, not so understanding. His parents know about me, but they cannot take me seriously as I am not there in the flesh. Every so often my guy tells me his mom has set up a meeting for him with yet another girl. It's a beautiful thing that I am not the jealous type, and that I have full faith in him other wise I would be tearing my hair out.

So...his parents do not know everything about me as of yet. And the selective things he has told them has been minimal and truthful. He cannot explain to them some things about me because as a religion, culture, tradition they just will not except it. Like the fact I am white...this will pass. The fact I am divorced...hmm might be years for that to heal. The fact I have a child from my previous marriage..that is never going to be o.k. with them. In their tradition women whom divorce, or are widowed normally are somewhat of outcasts from future relationships. Now not saying this is true to every woman in the current age there but this is what has been tradition for them for thousands of years. Needless to say they are not going to approve once they find out everything about me.

So what can I do? As this relationship grows deeper, the want to have his family adopted as my own will grow. I already have to come to terms with the fact that my child will never be accepted as part of his family because of the circumstances. That in itself is extremely painful. Sigh, I am not sure how to handle this situation now or in the future when things come to a head.

Clash of Cultures

Amongst my aimless holiday net surfing when the presents were wrapped and the children in bed, I came across this photo that amused me to no end. This is exactly how I would feel outside of the USA. Me hypothetically being the blond of course. It also brings me to the question, have we as Americans lost value and moral in our culture when it comes to women's behavior? Or have we always been this flamboyant and the rest of the world are prudes? I certainly would not get caught in that dress, not only because its just not my style but because I am a modest dresser and don't want my junk out for the world to see. Bless the barbie who dawned that dress in this photo, and I would have loved to hear the gossip these other two women had to say!

Diversity Missing

Do you appreciate living in a country where people from all aspects of life can live side by side with tolerance and respect for their cultural differences? Do you even know your neighbors? What nationality are they? What religion are they? What do you have in common?

Sad to say I don't know my neighbor intimately enough to know this information about them. They are Caucasian and that's about all I can gather without probing into their personal spiritual life. Unfortunately the community I live in is not so big on the diversity thing. Which is unfortunate for me as I need that kind of diversity to feel well rounded.

I had to drop off my child at school the other morning, along with his 24 cupcakes for his birthday. 22 students in his class, a good variety of boys and girls but not so good a variety of ethnicity. I only live here because of this school...its the best. Walking down the busy hallways I did notice a better mix of Asian, Latino, Caucasian, south American, African American, and any others I might not be able to distinguish. I still didn't feel that my child would become educated with a diverse group of individuals. Does that really make this school the best or only rich enough that a small number of families can afford to live in the school district?

What religion are you?

I have been asked this question a half dozen times by people in my life whom are devoutly religious. Does there have to be a name to my religion? Can't I call it Sarah's wacky thought process of divinity and creation?

Now first and foremost I believe that each human on this earth has a divine right to believe whatever they want to believe. Some of us are raised to believe in something, some of us find it later in life, some never believe, and some are standing there with there arms raised and a puzzled look on their face.

How does culture play a role in this? Imagine growing up in a small village in some desolate poverty stricken place where religion is the basic function of everyday life. Now imagine that you have no other conscious choice as a child and young adult than to think traditionally and believe in this religion. By the time you are an adult, the religion is such a major part of your everyday life that to question it would send the world off its axis and spill you over the edge.

This process of ingrained religion is not at all to be dismissed as bad or considered unethical. This is life as thousands of people know it. It is their culture which for thousands of years has been based on this religion. It is why they exist on this earth.

You will never hear me say that one religion is righteous over another. There are just to many variances for me to consider one religion to be alpha. So I will believe in my own sort of religious context. I take a small amount from each religion. Religious texts are about interpretation...it should be about interpretation from the individual readers. For me this means I can find something enlightening in all depending on how I process the information.

If your reading this and are devoutly religious, before you start leaving huffy comments about why YOUR religion is THE religion, consider that most religions give people a freedom, a choice of belief. This is not to be ignored just because you feel I am damned to purgatory. There are good people are in all realms of religions. Embrace people, and their cultural differences, which includes their religion.

You met him online and he is from where?

Well duh! He lives in India and I live in New York, of course I met him online! How many of us, of varying age groups, chat online or use social networks everyday? I would guess it is a phenomenal number. As technology grows so does the ability for us to go places we never thought possible from the comfort of our own homes.

As I am typing this I have up Facebook, AIM and MSN live email which can all connect simultaneously if I so desired. I can be fully connected to my everything online from the use of a single application. What brilliance! What do I need all of this for some may wonder? Well I connect to family and friends back home, I connect with my university and classmates and I spend countless hours communicating with the guy I met online almost a year ago. Whoa, isn't that dangerous? Isn't that weird? Um' hello its the age of technology, wake up and get on the bandwagon.

If your not socially networking now or are a total noob at it, I suggest you invest a small amount of time checking it out. How else are you going to be able to watch cooking shows in Thailand, live news feeds from Tasmania, or meet fabulous people and fascinating cultures from far off places, like India.

It is no longer taboo to have an online social and even romantic life. The ability to fall in love with someone through a computer isn't crazy or absurd, it is very real. For me, it was unexpected and with whom I fell in love with was even more unexpected. When I say that the instant I saw him (his user handle) I was immediately drawn to him and had to say hello. He didn't have some catchy screen name or a profile full of garbage talk that makes girls melt. He was just a guy...from India who was browsing the same chat room I was.

Here I am, its been months of this long distance romance, I'm still very much in love, and that grows every day. The communication is very strong and I believe this allows us to talk very openly to each other. There is no room for anything but adoration between him and I and yes for now it is done all online!